Feeling guilty about leaving current ABA company for another company. Need advice pls? (LONG POST)

I was just on LOA due to medical reasons for 2.5 months, and just came back 2 months ago. Previous to LOA, I also took some scheduled days off here and there due to medical appts. and unavoidable court dates for my son (custody battle). My company has been really amazing and understanding. I’ve been with them 14 months now; I’ve never been written up and have always strived to do my best, It’s my passion.

My reason for leaving are the fact I’m scheduled to have full custody of my toddler from his father starting Nov. 23rd (this month). Since returning to work, they told me if I did not work 3-7:30 pm M-F and Sat., that I wouldn’t be an eligible employee as the required min. Is 10 hrs. per week and they had nothing for my 8am-5pm availability…. I used to work 40 hours with this company and but am no longer! I took it kind of personal for sure…Like they thought I wasn’t serious or something.

I’m a single parent and unless I find a company w/ daytime hours I have no way to care for my child, making the usual daycare pickups of 5:30-6 pm M-F that all places in my area have.

The good news is I’ve many interviews for dif. companies, researched them, and I finally decided on one I feel really good about. They’re BCBA owned, a boutique styled aba company. I think Pay is 3-4$ more p/hr, Full time position, benefits ofcourse, great monthly incentives based on merit, and a sign on bonus. The best part: they’re daytime only, NO nights NO weekends, and totally okay with my availability! It seriously was like a breath of fresh air, just imagining being able to have my son without worry anymore. I have a 2nd interview with them tomorrow and I’m praying I get the job.

HOWEVER. I’m feeling a sense of responsibility and guilt to my current company. I for some reason feel I ‘owe’ them, or need to prove myself, considering I was gone for 2 months (unpaid of course), and occasional scheduled days off. I always felt guilty for those even though it was out of my control and I had no choice (can’t miss court).

It’s not just about my company. It’s also about the families I work for. I feel bad leaving my clients cases that I’ve just recently been put on since returning. I feel awful that they’ll lose care and have to find a new RBT for them to work with and start that pairing process all over again. Especially because I knew one of the clients from before my LOA and Mom was SO happy and relieved I was the new RBT she said I bonded much easier with her son and she saw a change immediately in his behavior in comparison to the other BT’s… I even overheard her on the phone telling a friend how happy she was about it. I felt that SAME guilt when I initially left for LOA too.

But the reality is, l cannot give up the chance to have my son full time because I will lose that chance if I don’t meet the moment right now. I already told the court I couldn’t and pushed it off 1 month later due to the situation with work. This is obviously a no brainer decision, I know what I must do, but I’m struggling with these guilty feelings.

I’m looking for advice from all of you, how can I overcome these feelings that I OWE my company, and that I need to prove myself to them and my clients? I felt I let them down with my long LOA, and missed dates, at such an early period of my position (9 months in). The guilt is killing me.

And what’s the best way to approach ‘the talk’ with my company? I am interviewing tomorrow and If I get the job, I’m going to have to have this conversation very soon. Any comments appreciated thank you so much for your dedication to reading my long post! 🙏🏼🙏🏼