AITAH for telling someone I don't like them because they're trans?

I know it sounds bad from the title but just hear me out. So I (M23) have this friend "Ashley" (MtF) that I have known for years and has only recently come out as trans, about 9 months or so ago. Pre-transition Ashley identified as a gay man and we got on really well, we would hang out one on one outside of our friend group which is mainly girls and gay guys. Pretty much as soon as she came out she would refer to me with female pronouns and feminising my name when talking about me (even with strangers). At the beginning I just let it go because she had a lot going on and I thought she'd move on from it, she didn't and it started to get more consistent and malicious(?). I mentioned it to some of the other girls in our group and they agree it's weird and the irony of a trans person purposely misgendering and using a different name for someone isn't lost on any of us. I've spoken to Ashley and they have too but she just blows it off as a joke and that we're being overly sensitive. As it started getting worse I would spend more time with other friends and when I was with the Ashley friend group I'd make a swift enough exit when Ashley got there.

It all came to a head at a house party a couple weeks ago, I'd had a bit to drink before Ashley arrived and went straight into referring to me as a she and using my feminised name. When this happened I'd just move rooms and not really say anything, later on in the night she caught me outside having a smoke with some other friends and accused me of not liking her anymore because she's trans (it's not the first time she's used the "because I'm trans" line but it's the first time I've risen to it). I was annoyed, exacerbated and drunk so I basically told her "it's only since you've come out that you think it's fine to transify me, not using my name or respecting my pronouns and if you think that's ok because you're trans then, yes, i dislike you because youre trans" and with that i left. I heard later on from friends that I was outside smoking with that Ashley went inside crying after it all went down and accused me of an unprovoked transphobic tirade, thankfully they told everybody what actually happened and how it went down, it killed the mood of the party and it ended pretty quickly after that.

I definitely could've handled it better but I feel like if the roles were reversed and I was dead naming and misgendering Ashley purposefully I'd be absolutely villainized. I've had a couple of the girls text me and ask me to apologise to make peace and I probably would have if Ashley didn't go in and accuse me of what she did. I'm conflicted, I haven't really spoken to anyone in that friend group properly since it happened and that hurts because they are close friends of mine but I also feel like I need to stand up for myself so helo me out, AITAH?