AITA for not forgiving my parents after they missed major milestones?

In September 2023, I (26f) was visiting my parents for the week while working remotely. During a meeting with senior colleagues, I had the door closed, and my mom opened it to ask me something. I told her I was in a meeting and couldn’t talk. After the call, I went downstairs and asked her why she opened the door. I explained, several times, that if my door is closed while I’m on a call, she shouldn’t interrupt. I already look much younger than my age, and the last thing I need is for my parent to walk in and make me look even more unprofessional. She got incredibly offended by this, and things escalated into a huge argument, involving both her and my dad. They accused me of being disrespectful, a liar, and a bad person, and threatened to call the cops if I didn’t leave. So, I packed my things and went back home in a rush.

A few weeks later, my boyfriend (who had already asked my parents for permission before the argument) proposed to me with an incredibly beautiful and extravagant proposal. After we got engaged, I never reached out to my parents because of all the hurtful things they’d said.

Months later, they called me, and when I shared the news, they weren’t excited or happy for me. Instead, they demanded to know why I hadn’t told them sooner, even though my fiancé had already informed them about the proposal. We went almost a whole year without speaking, aside from the occasional rude messages from them. During this time, I finished my Master’s, defended my thesis, and got accepted into several prestigious universities—things they knew were happening before our fight. It really hurt that they didn’t acknowledge these milestones or my engagement. I also went through some serious health issues requiring two hand surgeries and dealing with hormonal problems that left me bedridden, all of which I handled alone, not wanting to burden my fiancé.

Now, my parents are trying to rebuild our relationship. We had a very emotional conversation where I told them how deeply hurt I was by their actions, missing my milestones, and treating me poorly. They gave me a weak explanation, but by the end, we were all in tears, and they apologized.

Since then, they’ve tried to make up for things by offering to host an engagement party (which I declined), sending me large bouquets for my graduation, offering to pay for my wedding (which I also declined), and gifting me expensive jewelry. While I appreciate their efforts, I still can’t seem to forgive them.

We talk occasionally, but I often feel a surge of anger during our conversations. It frustrates me that they only seem to care now that it’s convenient for them, but didn’t show up for my engagement or graduation. I’ve told them this before, but they act like things are fine and brush my feelings aside.

Now, my partner and I are planning our wedding, and I’m torn about inviting them. Part of me wants to exclude them because they missed all these important moments and caused me so much pain. But another part of me feels guilty for considering leaving them out.

So, AITA for not being able to forgive my parents, and should I invite them to my wedding?

Edit: Before my fiancé proposed (and before this whole argument) he took my parents out to dinner to ask for their approval. He also told them he planned to propose by September X and got their opinion about the ring he intended to buy via email. After he proposed, it felt strange, wrong, and awkward to reach out to them given all the hurtful things that had been said. I had hoped they might at least say “hi” or something non-confrontational, giving me a chance to share the good news. (My fiancé didn’t ask for their approval after the argument he only proposed after)

Edit: as mentioned earlier in this post yes they were aware of my upcoming graduation, thesis defence, and the fact I was applying to PhD programs. They also knew the timeline of these items.