AITA

AITA? Am I The Asshole? Hey, AITAH?

I’m a 34M married to a 31F for about three and a half years now. One day, while my wife was out, I was browsing online (Facebook, “people you may know”) and saw some classmates I hadn’t seen in a long time. This made me think of my childhood best friend, John (same age).

John was my best friend growing up, starting from kindergarten. But shortly after the beginning of second grade, John was hit by a truck while crossing the street and didn’t survive. A few years later, his family moved away, and I was never told where his grave was.

I’ve tried to find information online over the years and even visited some cemeteries, but I never found anything. My parents don’t remember where his grave is, and they barely remember him at all.

That day, I decided to try searching again. I typed John’s name into the search bar and found a picture of a tombstone with his name on it. At first, I wasn’t sure it was him, but the cemetery location was nearby, the birth and death dates matched what I remembered, and his parents’ names were also correct.

When I realized it was him, I instantly started crying. Finally I found my best friend. A few minutes later, my wife came home, and I had to collect myself quickly. She came into the room, noticed my red eyes, and asked if I was okay. I told her it was just allergies and went to shower to cover it up more.

I love my wife, but I feel like I can’t trust her with this. I know she would make a big deal out of it, and I’m not ready for that and I’m just not sure I’m ready for her to know.

So, am I the a**hole for not telling her?