Hard pill to swallow.

Often you will see here people who complain about a bad start in life and that they are losers from the beginning. To quote the classic "hold me a beer".

Adopted by a couple from the deep countryside in Poland B, to this day it is a communicatively excluded place. From kindergarten to the end of middle school forced to be in classes with 13 other people who knew about the adoption. It was impossible to hide it in such a village so from as long as I can remember I heard that I am worse because my own mother did not want me.

That's right, mother, what about her? I found my brother first, I mean his grave. He was 9 years old when he drowned in the bathtub 7 years before I was born. The ambulance that came to him, took my mother away, because it was too late for him. Mom was never the same again. A psychiatric hospital, then a care center, paranoid schizophrenia. Short passes during which she happened to run off "out of sight". Incapacitated under the care of my grandmother, who one day inadvertently entered her room while my mother was changing clothes. - "You're pregnant?!. - "Well, yes." Did I mention that it was the middle of the 6th month and during that time mom was taking psychotropics? Well "we are off to a good start". I was born at home, at night my grandmother delivered me and saved my life because I wasn't breathing. Now mom is dead, her second attempt was successful many years ago.

And so I've been rolling ever since. So much for fucked up beginnings ^{^}

Now everyday deep in my mind I'm scared that I can lose my mind and contact with the reality like my mum did.