She’s with a new guy

I know this sounds a bit pathetic but I was okay for two months since breaking up but today one of my friends said she’s sort of dating another person in our university and they saw her with this guy in a restaurant next to uni and they were sitting together in the lunchroom and all.

I was fine I was okay and I thought I would be okay by this too it was only a matter of time after all. But it hit me like a truck I feel like something’s stuck in my throat it’s hard to breathe. I don’t know who to talk to about this. I just don’t know why it hit me this hard but my minds a mess.

I can remember her saying that she’s never find someone again, I’d always be the one for her but damn it’s just been two months. I want to ask why in front of me why do you want me to see this. I know it’s pathetic but I just don’t know. I can remember her feeding me lunch in the same restaurant she’s in with that new guy. Why let me know that or see that. Just maybe couldn’t you have waited a bit or atleast done something where I didn’t hear about it.

I want to hate her to be glad that I’m not with her but I can’t no matter how much I try there’s no anger just loneliness I miss having a companion someone to share my life with I miss her but I know we broke up because we just weren’t right for each other. I just want to feel okay again. I don’t want to feel good or happy just even feeling bland would be better than this. It hurts I don’t know why. It didn’t hurt this much even when we broke up.

I know I have no right to feel this way it’s pretty selfish but it’s eating me up I managed to be straight faced after hearing this but my heart sank and my mouth felt dry. Is this normal? Am I being selfish? Why did it affect me so much?

Help me, please.