i feel absolutely lost

i'm not diagnosed with depression but i've been thinking about attempting suicide very often for the past two months. i've had suicidal thoughts since i was 14 but i was able to get better after that, now ever since Summer ended, i've been at the lowest point of my life. A lot of things have happened in that time span and i feel weak and lost, i don't think i can do this anymore. I just want to end the pain.