AMIOR-I was fake proposed to on Christmas eve 6 years ago and it still hurts

Basically am I the bad person for still being hurt when I'm still with the person this happened with. My family are horrible people. They set my boyfriend of a year up to propose to me on Christmas eve. I didn't know he didn't pick out the ring, plan it, or even want to do it. He went along with it anyway and proposed to me like it was his idea. Then he let me believe the whole thing was real for 6 to 7 more years. It only came to light that it was fake when I found the pictures that were taken and showed him them. His first reaction was "oh yeah the fake proposal" and he laughed. He had never mentioned this to me at all before so naturally I was really hurt. He tried to excuse it off by saying HE THOUGHT I KNEW IT WAS FAKE TOO! I obviously did not know and even started trying to stupidly and naively plan a small wedding. He claims my family told him it was fake a month later. Thus doesn't make sense to me and it doesn't matter because that just means he chose to let me believe it was real. I am deeply hurt by this ad this same man has refused to fix this and propose to me correctly but still says we are engaged. I feel cheated out of an important life milestone, mislead and deeply hurt. I try to hold it together but the anniversary of my fake proposal really hurts because he expects me to be fine and act like it didn't matter, or get over it. Do I have the right to be sad at all about this? He repeatedly says things like he has never gotten me a ring and tried to propose to me again because he can't afford it, that he has no actual plan to do that, that I'm forcing him to do that etc. But im not the one who proposed to me and he is the one who reapeatedly says we are still engaged. I feel this has all been really unfair and hurtful to me seeing as I had no part in this other than being hurt. Every time i bring it up he says he doesnt care anymore and that makes me think that it really was fake, but then he goes right back to expecting to live life like normal. So I don't I don't understand why I'm the bad person I guess, arent i the one who got screwed in this? I would have never proposed to someone who I didn't intend on proposing to so I don't get it I guess. I just needed to get it off my chest because.