AITA for canceling plans with my boyfriend after he didn't confirm for 4 hours.

Me(30m) and my boyfriend(30m) have been in a real strained place for the last few months. Alot of petty arguments and just insensitive behavior. We've spoken almost every day but we haven't actually seen each other in probably over a month.

I complained to him about always making plans and that I wanted him to make more of an effort to initiate plans. Unfortunately the day he spontaneously decided to make a plan, I took an extra shift at work and he got mad that I wasn't readily available. He said he would never do it again. This felt unreasonable to me, but a friend said that he was valid in his anger since I was the one that was complaining initially and didn't follow through. I didn't agree as the plans were out of the blue and I accepted the shift before I even knew about them but I digress..

I decided to make plans to meet up. I was shot down as he said he was working/busy but he never offered an alternate. So I said I was try to plan something for a different day. I told him to be free for Wednesday to hang out. He said it would depend on what we were doing. This pissed me off a bit because to me it shouldn't really matter. Were you going to not see me because I didn't plan something to your liking? Anyway I messaged him that it would be lunch and movie (even threw in a surprise spa session) he said "okay, that's fine"..

So the day before I called to confirm we were still good to go. I called him multiple times and when he answered you could hear that he was drinking. It was like 5:30 on Tuesday! He rushed me off the phone as he was with his friends.

I message him "if we were still good for tomorrow? Should we reschedule?" I don't want to go with him anywhere if he has a hang over and he has a habit of drinking to excess. I never got answer. I messaged him every hour if he was okay. I called him 3 hours later, 3 times, and on the third time he finally answers sounding annoyed. I asked him what his problem was? He said he never had his phone with him.

I asked again if we were good for tomorrow and his response was "what's happening tomorrow?" I was mad and said forget the whole thing and that if hanging out wasn't important to him that I wasn't going to press the subject.

I canceled everything and decided to take an extra shift at work.

He's claiming that when he said "why? what's happening tomorrow?" he was asking ME to confirm plans and time. He said clearly he was busy and couldn't answer his phone and me trying to cancel so abruptly means that I never wanted to hang out with him to begin with. He's calling me the asshole for canceling our plans because I didn't get a response from him.

It's worth to note that I didn't get any response from him until an hour after I had canceled the plans. So am I the asshole because I was too ready to cancel the plans?