AITA for leaving a party because my date refused to get me water?

I had been seeing someone I met through mutual friends. We’d had good times one-on-one, and when he invited me to events with his friends, I’d contribute to the group dynamic by never showing up empty handed and offering to grab drinks for others.

Fast forward to a holiday-themed party with his friends. My date and I planned to meet there and hang out afterward. I spent the day cleaning my condo and preparing mulled wine to bring. During the party, people were getting drinks for one another, including me when I served the wine.

At one point, I was sitting on the couch, blocked in by only my date on one said and many others on my other side. I was tired and didn’t feel like tightly squeezing past people I didn’t know, so I asked my date if he could grab me a glass of water. He shook his head and after I said “huh” he said, “No. I was just up, and you could’ve asked before I sat down again.” I was taken aback because I view small gestures, like grabbing water, as basic acts of care for friends, but especially for someone you’re dating.

That moment, combined with a long day of preparation, left me feeling drained. Since the party was winding down and I didn’t have the energy to engage further, I said my goodbyes and called a ride. My date offered to walk me out and said he felt hurt that I was leaving. I explained I needed to recharge but that he was welcome to come over after the party.

As we walked out, I jokingly mentioned how him not getting me water surprised me. He replied, “Wow, that really upset you, huh? I have to be guarded about these things, you know.”

Later, we texted, but he seemed more upset about me leaving than interested in listening to why I felt drained. When I tried to call, he didn’t answer. His texts were curt, and I eventually told him I’d let him decompress. Two days later, I called to discuss what happened. He said he’d call that evening but didn’t reach out until three days later, saying, “I’m not dodging you, I’ve just been busy.” At that point, I was over it, especially since he never acknowledged the misunderstanding or my attempts to resolve it.

A month later, we finally had a conversation. He explained that getting me water felt “subservient” and was something I had to earn through time and “being in the trenches with him.” He also said I didn’t understand how busy his life was (for context, I work multiple jobs). I calmly explained that grabbing water for someone isn’t about being subservient but a small act of kindness.

After reflecting, I feel his responses and handling of the situation were disrespectful and indicative of bigger issues.

So, is there an asshole here? I appreciate the perspective.