How should I deal with homophobic coworker?
I have been at this job since september 2023. I had became buddies with this co worker, I will call him Carl, just for the sake of the post (not his real name). Carl is 32, I am 42. He grew up in small town mississippi. We have similar personalities. Both kinda reserved and quiet , love sports, etc etc. Anyway, my 2nd month on the job, Carl comes up to me and says , "yo I have been meaning to say this but as a straight guy , I feel that you look at me too hard and stand too close to me at times and it makes me uncomfortable."
I sorta avoided him for a few days after that (I did apologize even though what he was saying , I didn't do). Then all of a sudden he tries to be buddy buddy with me again.
He doesn't know that I am bi and our co workers are all deeply homophobic...like to the point where one of our co workers is from Gambia, and braggs about how america should kill gay people just like they do in his country, but anyway....
about 4 months ago, I was working near him, and I heard him say under his breath, "man quit lookin at me so hard" and no one else was around but i ignored him.
Then after that he was cool with me again up until two weeks ago, he started avoiding me and walking past me and not speaking to me . He also told me between all this that he felt another co worker of ours was on the down low and felt that he was always being stared at by him and he said, "man he needs to quit looking at me. He must be secretly gay and I don't swing that way ".
Anyway, I know in probably a couple of weeks he will start his routine of being nice to me again and giving me fist bumps when I see him and I am to the point , I am ready to just come out as bi to him and tell him if he has a problem with it, then he doesn't have to speak to me. However, I am always mister nice guy and don't want to be rude but I am tired of walking on eggshells.
What would you do? For the record, I hate this fucking job and don't care to really be friends with any of these people.