why are some men like this?
It is a genuine question, not a snark or sarcasm. I am genuinely curious to know the answer.
For context, I am 27f with no relationship experiences at all. I have never had a relationship, never kissed, never slept with anyone, never even went on a date. I was too engrossed with studied and job I knew I wouldn't be able to handle the stress of a relationship as well. After I was done with my studies I decided to wait for me to get married before experiencing all the romance and bliss (if it happens yay, if not nay, I don't mind.) I know for sure I will be in an arranged marriage because I don't want to upset my parents. And I don't want to potentially drag a man into a relationship and then break his heart by going "oh I want my parents to be happy so goodbye."
But I digress. I met some men on reddit and when they ask me if I had a relationship I said no. I never even flirted with anyone properly before. And I have had few men complimenting me on that (for some reason). And I tell them I am waiting for my parents to find me a guy so I can be happy with him and experience all the things for the first time with a guy who will be married to me. When I tell them that they be saying things like "Your guy will be very happy" and stuff like that (i typed the stuff but then I deleted it because i am cringing myself at what they say, it feels like i am obnoxiously subtle bragging.)
The point is, they themselves admitted they want a girl like me, they say I will make my future husband happy, they say 'girls like me are rare' (i am cringing ugh). But then they start flirting with me and start making sexual jokes and innuendos? For them according to their own words, I am their ideal girl, but then they act in a way that would turn me into a woman they don't even want to be with (flirting with random guy, having sexual talk etc etc). They themselves admit I would make my future husband happy but then they go around and act in a way that would turn me into a woman that my future husband wouldn't be 'too happy' with? I genuinely do not understand, if they want a woman who doesn't flirt with random people, why are you trying to flirt with me knowing I am not a person like that? Am i even making any sense here? Are they being entitled or are they under the assumption that they are suddenly special to me that I will change my ways for them?
They be out there having criterias for what an ideal woman should be like but they are not respecting those women when they come around. They want a girl who doesn't flirt with strangers, but they be flirting with a girl despite being a stranger. They want a girl who is a virgin, but they be making sexual advances to her. Same can be said for other cases as well, they be wanting a wanting a girl with nice job, but then they make her quit the job because they earn enough. They be wanting an educated girl but then say degree doesn't mean anything. They want one thing, but then they act in a whole different manner. Honestly, why do they act this way?