Is it me or my environment? Struggling to thrive in Dublin

I'm a woman who just turned 30 at the beginning of January. For a while now, probably since the pandemic I have really and truly struggled to thrive in life in this city.

When you're 25, you put your trials and tribulations down to "well, this is your 20s, it's a time for experimenting - friends and lovers come and go, so do shitty jobs and bosses" it's hard but it feels raw and real and necessary.

Then the pandemic happens and in my isolation and sudden silence I'm forced to slow down and be with myself. You see I did the therapy, read the books, stopped going for the toxic relationships and casual hookups long ago but there's only so much more I can do.

Friends started to shift and change and move on so I went out to join clubs, make new friends, and thankfully I've met some solid people now.

But it doesn't feel quite right. You see, I live in a big house on my own, something I thought was an enviable luxury but reality is its lonely and I wonder why I can't sit with myself and read a book or write because the space around me is so loud. I decided to get a roommate but she does not interact which actually makes me feel more lonely.

See I've lots of friends but they are relatively far away and it's not a case of popping around the corner to see so and so, it's a 40 min bus journey to town etc.

Then there's dating, I've been single for the majority of my late 20s and it's so exhausting. I'm 100% done with the apps, they are a chore and then there is organic meet ups but it gets tiring constantly joining groups or putting yourself out there - you go to an event and get the same bus, walk by the same street (which you probably had a fight with your ex in a few years ago) and you just show up with all this vibrational baggage...its like the city is a stink, a stink of previous versions of me and its low vibrational energy sticks to me and weighs me down.

Being single at 30 is not what I thought for myself and sometimes I DO wonder if its me, am I just that invisible? That unattractive? Men, particularly Irish men seem to have 0 time for me.

Anyways, I figured I'd post and see if others feel the same because I just need community man, I need to know its not just me.