I hate that everything triggers me
I am very mentally ill. From march-july I had rarely left my bed at all and dove headfirst into anything that could distract me/give me dopamine (weed edibles, c.ai, anime, junk food, music) I basically lost all sense of myself and I didn't even notice for so long until I began trying to break all those habits and I started having bad panic attacks.
It's been a few months since then and I have MDD, DPDR and my OCD has flaired up severely. I have been taking Trintellix for a little over 3 months now and I see a therapist every second week.
I'm slowly making progress. I just hate how easily I get triggered... For example my dad smokes weed occasionally and when I smell it it makes me ruminate on when I used to use it and I feel dizzy and anxious. Sometimes I think of characters I would talk to on c.ai and that also causes feelings of shame and unease. I can't listen to rap music anymore because that is primarly what I listened to when I was in a rut.
I just don't know how to navigate this. My therapist explained that it's like if someone smells lavender before getting hit by a car, they will associate lavender with that incident. Basically my brain is doing that with all these things. I know some of these things were definitely horrible for my mental well being (the weed and c.ai) so I don't wanna be around it again but I wish just hearing about it or seeing it wouldn't bother me so much.
Long story short, I just want to reach out to see if anyone has had a similar experience? And if so is there anyway to just overcome it with time? Thanks for reading.