AP gets secretly married and lies

This is a long one. Sorry folks. 

Our AP, who has lived with us for nearly a year recently told my partner and I that she was going to get married to her boyfriend in one month’s time. 

We had already decided to not extend the program with her after struggling through the language barrier for the entirety of our time. She is a nice girl, however, her English is not anywhere close to what herself and the agency claimed and this caused some issues. 

We were so happy to learn about her upcoming marriage and were supportive of the news. I gave her a big hug and asked her lots of questions about her plans and it was really nice. I have read stories on this subreddit about AP’s getting married towards the end of their program so they can stay in the country…but the romantic in me chose to be optimistic. She met her boyfriend a few months ago. 

Her telling us so openly came as a surprise - our AP has been quite guarded since she arrived. She is an extremely defensive individual who turns basic discussions into perceived attacks. Requests about specific things we needed for our child’s care were interpreted as criticisms. At one point, around month three, we considered rematching because communication was such a challenge. Our community coordinator advised us against it because she said that our AP would not find another match. She wasn’t doing anything majorly wrong and was providing adequate childcare to our baby so we decided to stick it out for the year. We never brought up rematch with her directly so it’s not like we were threatening her with it at any point. Her attitude improved slightly so we felt okay with continuing with the match, but it was never a really close relationship. It has been a tough year. 

We knew she was disappointed to not be extending with us and was struggling to find a new placement. As stated, her English has not improved in a year (even after she took her English class), she does not have a driver’s license and is adamant about not working weekends. I thought it was strange that no family had reached out to me for a reference. 

The day after she told us about the wedding, we went wedding dress shopping and I took photos for her family. Though there were many happy memories throughout the year, this was truly the best memory I have with her despite her seeming extremely nervous throughout the afternoon. Her being nervous is kind of her baseline so I didn’t really read too much into it. 

Later that night, her fiancé came over for drinks and he seemed a like a totally normal, albeit boring, man. (Boring were her words used to describe him earlier in their relationship not mine.) All of this happened right before Christmas. Christmas was nice. We gave her a cash gift and some other Christmas presents. She seemed really appreciative and happy.   

Over Christmas, AP explained that she would inform the agency of her wedding on her Year2 match deadline, which was two days after the wedding date. I didn’t want to be involved in telling the agency, which I explained to her. I figured that the worst case scenario was that she might not continue with the program because she didn’t want to or would get kicked out of the program after her wedding date. I understood that our risk was being left without childcare, but my mother could come live with us for a few weeks if that happened. I wanted to stick my head in the proverbial sand and think of her marriage as none of my business since we were not extending.

Later that same night, my partner and I received a text from AP who admits that she has lied to us and that she had already gotten married. She didn’t want to tell us because she was afraid of our reaction. She claimed that there would be a celebration with friends and family in a month, but I don’t know what to believe. 

It was at that point, that I, emotionally, threw in the towel. After being nothing but friendly, kind, and open with this person, I could not handle her being so disingenuous as to “soft launch” her marriage so that she could see our reaction before she decided to be fully honest and transparent. I told her that we felt it was in our best interest to talk to the agency to figure out our options and asked that we speak in the morning. We told her in the morning that we intended to break the match and I asked if her husband could come pick her up. She seemed sad but was not overly emotional or apologetic. She packed up her belongings and left hours later.  

On her way out the door, her husband said to me, “I can’t believe that you would kick her out on the street with no place to go.” I was taken aback but responded with, “You are her husband. You are her place to go.” He didn’t have anything to say to me after that. She left and I plan to never speak to her again. If she had come to us and said that she had gotten married then I know that my reaction would have been just as positive as the one I gave her initially. It was the deceit that was the final straw after a year of her nervous and distrustful energy. Did I over react? I could see both sides but curious for the community’s consensus.

TL;DR: AP told us she was getting married…then confesses that she had already secretly gotten married. AITA for how we reacted?