Well, I think it's time to sell my house. Homeownership has kicked my burnt out ass.

I bought my house when I was a still highly masked, full of energy, naive and optimistic 21 year old.

Now I am the opposite of all that (except naive), and BURNT OUT. Struggling with my mental health more than ever before and ready to give up on my dreams and visions for my house. I moved my things into a storage unit and stay with my partner now because the issues with my house and not being able to settle on solutions for them put my OCD and anxiety into overdrive.

I've gone back and forth because I got a great interest rate and have paid so much principal down. I've done big things like getting a new roof, upgrading the electrical panel, etc. but making calls and finding people to do these things to a small house for a POC woman in a rural area has kicked my ass. Plus some shitty things happened during repairs that have made me nervous and made me realize I don't have the knowledge or grit to go up against someone if they fuck up my home.

I just feel like a failure, and I run away from everything when it gets too scary. I just want to wash my hands of the place, I've accepted although living alone may be better for my mental health, I also cannot handle the responsibility of it anymore. Having some cash and no more homeowner worries would lift a heavy weight off my shoulders at this time.