Do you also feel like stuck in between different worlds that are not compatible with each other.

Hi, I don't know how to formulate it better.

But I feel like one of my interest and source of income, being an engineer is totally the opposite of "pretending to be a human". I really enjoy exploring all the technical stuff, doing research a numbers. But it is to an extreme when "body maintenance and feeding" is an annoying obstacle. And the deeper I am in the work the more alien the people feel to me.

And on the other hand, I sometimes have periods of time when I would like to socialize a little and look nice, wearing fancy clothes and so on. (Heck I am terrible at that beauty stuff) Do some nice cosplay or something like that. And it feels like it is pulling me from that engineering thinking.

It is so weird and mostly out of my control and takes a few days to switch from one "mode" to another.