AITA for choosing my cats?

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/butterflyclover

OOP has given her permission for this BoRU

AITA for choosing my cats?

Originally posted to r/AmItheAsshole

EDITORS NOTE: changed "C" to Christine for easier reading

TRIGGER WARNING: entitlement, destruction of property

Original Post Dec 15, 2020

I live in an apartment with three cats. My cats have their litter robot and cat wheel in the living room and a cat tree in my bedroom. In mid-November, Christine asked to crash on my couch as she was in between leases and she said had nowhere else to go. She made no mention of other hardships or issues. She knew that I have 3 cats and that I usually work ~70 hrs a week.

During Christine's visit, she caused the cats to get sick by giving them milk and cream. I asked her not to feed the cats anything and the next day, Christine threw out almost $70 worth of cat toys, tried to throw out the cat wheel because it didn't match the aesthetic of my living room, gave the cats milk which led to diarrhea, and then refused cat access to the litter robot, locking them in my bedroom. After 4 days of this, I had enough and demanded that she return the key and leave immediately. After she left, I discovered that she had ruined the cat tree as well.

A week ago, Christine began photos of my cats on her social media insinuating that they are hers. She mentioned that she had stayed with me and that I had kicked her out when she was in intense pain due to a miscarriage, so she had to move in with her parents, who live nearby. However, the one good thing is that apparently, my cats inspired her to get her own, who apparently look exactly like mine and if my cats were named Apple, Pencil, and Daisy, then hers are named Banana, Eraser, and Rose.

I commented that these are my cats and that I had only let her stay because she lied that she had nowhere else to go, as I'm high-risk and we're in the middle of a pandemic and otherwise, I wouldn't have let her stay at my apartment. I also said that she had gotten herself kicked out by abusing my cats, and then started listing expenses and damage costs and asked when she could reimburse me for the damages that had occured. She responds that the photos are of HER cats, she can't afford to pay me back, that she's a responsible pet owner because she did a week of research, and I responded by linking my cats' Instagram and saying that a responsible pet owner is anyone but her.

The next day, I got several threatening messages from her family about not believing Christine about the miscarriage or cats. I responded that I was unaware of the miscarriage at the time and was only looking out for my cats. I also mentioned that I doubted the miscarriage had happened, as she had lifted and carried the heavy wheel and base down two flights of stairs. On top of that, she had gone out for the entire day and had been drinking coffee. The messages are saying that I better make sure my cats are safe because I'm a terrible pet owner and person for not helping Christine and that apparently, I don't have any friends because I'm a crazy cat lady.

AITA for prioritizing my cats over another human? I understand the upset...but only if she actually did have the miscarriage? Maybe she did and I'm the AH.

Also, cat tax here: https://imgur.com/a/AVRcmVL

edit: wow, this blew up way more than I thought it would. After reading all the comments, I realize that I'm nta. I think I was thrown off because I felt like my cats suffered which made me an AH in their eyes and I was projecting because I've had two miscarriages and if anyone ever started doubting me and trying to get others to doubt me, I would be devastated. I appreciate all the comments and I'm trying to respond to them all but there's a ton! I did want to link this video of my youngest cat running on a wheel as additional cat tax. He's showing my tabby kitty how it's done :)

edit pt.2: things escalated a ton last night. Had to call the police to intervene and while I can't say much about it yet, I will try to post an update when things blow over.

edit #3: i apologize for not responding to comments - I'm still reading them and appreciate the advice and support. There have been a couple people messaging me asking if they can repost this on their YouTube video/Instagram etc and at this time, I'd like to ask for people to refrain from doing so, especially as the police had to get involved and I'm now just really worried that Christine or family will find this post. Like I said in my last edit - I will update when things blow over but for now, I am safe, as are the kitties!

VERDICT: NOT THE ASSHOLE

RELEVANT COMMENTS

cara1888

Definitely NTA and i suggest maybe getting a restraining order especially if you have those threats show the police. Because she sounds crazy and who knows what she may try to do

OOP

I'm getting the locks changed tomorrow because I'm realizing that I have no idea if she made a copy of the key... not sure what else I can do. Unfortunately, C has started at the same job as me but part time, so the restraining order idea may be tricky...

&

I'm worried the job will cause issues. They've had to cut a few people and I'm nervous that they will let me know coincidentally if I do a restraining order.

EDIT: Let me GO

~

Mandarinette

NTA - This is not about prioritising your cats over a human. This is about protecting yourself, a human, and your cats from a psycho and her psycho family.

OOP

I feel terrible. She says that im not entitled to the knowledge that she was miscarrying when she was in my apartment. I agreed but added that miscarrying doesn't excuse her hurting my cats and messing with their stuff, which led to everyone saying that she's having a hard time and they're "annoying" and I was like "then she didn't have to stay? Or keep giving them milk"

how did OOP not know her friend was crazy

When she gave them cream, I asked her to stop feeding them and I thought that was the issue. She was upset that I didn't call out of work for her and I assumed it was because she wanted to spend time together as we were friends. I didn't know about the milk until the day she decided to throw stuff and remove the cat wheel and I kicked her out basically the next day. I didn't find out about the miscarriage until last week when she started posting the photos. C has been questionable in the past but it's always been little things, like saying that she had salad for lunch when she had pizza. Perhaps I missed a bunch of red flags but I also work a ton (essential jobs) and I'm not home for most of the day.

To clarify, she stayed for a total of 3.5 days. The 3rd day was when she messed with the stuff. I let her stay the night but told her she needed to be out by 10am the next day.

Update Apr 14, 2021 (4 months later)

Hey everyone,

It’s been a while but here is my update lol. Unfortunately, the subreddit wouldn’t let me update in the sub, so I just posted it here.

A day or so after I posted the AITA post, Christine and her boyfriend tried to break in with a crowbar and a hammer... yikes. Fortunately, I had taken the night off of work and was actually responding to reddit comments when my neighbor texted asking if I knew that there were people outside my window? I had no idea. Police were called, and Christine told them that she had left her jacket in my apartment and was just trying to get it back. When I said there was no jacket here, she changed her story to me abusing the cats, but I feel that it’s abundantly clear that my cats do not get abused. Both of them (Christine and the boyfriend) were arrested, and I haven’t seen Christine since.

I was looking through some screenshots of Christine’s social media and to my horror, I realized that some of the photos were taken AFTER she moved out and that I wasn’t the one who took them. The cats had collars that I had gotten them for the holiday season, my Christmas tree that went up 12/6 was visible in some of the photos, and so on. The next thing I did was going through the footage that was recorded on my pet cams when I was at work and wasn’t surprised to find out that Christine has been letting herself into my apartment to take photos of my cats and eat my food. I submitted this to the police as a follow-up to the police report I had made.

Since then, my mental health has been on a rough ride. I did get the locks changed after the attempted break-in situation but realizing that Christine had been in my apartment multiple times without me knowing really threw me off. Christine never showed up at work again and there was a bit of gossip that she had ended up in an in-person psychiatric care facility. I didn’t know if she still had access to the schedule, and so my paranoia got pretty bad. I was also uncomfortable working with Christine's friends as my coworkers, so I ended up putting in my two-week notice in mid-January. I also decided I wanted to move, but it’s actually really really difficult finding a place that accepts three cats >.<

My move was finalized in late February and I was able to move in early March. I injured my wrist right before the move, so it took me 2 weeks longer to move (couldn’t move too much stuff at once) and that definitely stretched my savings because I was paying rent for two apartments, with 2 security deposits and such. But since then, I’ve been working and continuing therapy and outpatient psychiatric care. Maybe I’m a wuss but it was definitely a little traumatizing to realize how close I got to things turning out differently. Recently (late March), Christine messaged me asking if we could talk. I was hesitant but eventually, I called her and she apologized for scaring me and asked if we could still be friends. I said I didn’t know, because I no longer trust her, and she accepted that. We haven’t talked since. Still no clue what prompted the crazy but I don't want to know or have her around because in true crazy cat lady fashion, I only need my cats lol

If anyone wants to be linked to my instagram for the cats, feel free to dm me, I suppose? Here is some more cat tax as well!

RELEVANT COMMENTS

justMari905

Why would you ever let her back in? So she can continued to terrorize you and your cats? Think of them first and stop being a doormat to other people or otherwise you don’t deserve your cats at all

OOP

She actually snuck in without my knowledge. Then I changed the locks and she came at the door with a crowbar. Finally, I depleted basically my life savings to move somewhere where my cats would be safe. Everything I do is for my kittes.

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