Bay Area Venue Hunt Fatigue: A Vent

This is mostly a vent, though if you have any suggestions after reading this I am open to them.

I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed with venue fatigue here in the bay. I am admittedly being a goldilocks and hunting for something just right, but while we have a top venue in mind (Flood Mansion) it is also a very popular one. The idea of not having a back up plan if we can’t get dates when they are released, which is a real possibility, is stressful to me. But, finding additional places that meet our needs feels almost impossible. Here are the current requirements:

Layout/Logistics:

  • An all in one place where we can host both ceremony and reception. This means we need at least two spaces, ideally three so cocktail hour doesn’t require turning over the ceremony immediately after. Could potentially do two places if they’re really close. Shuttling people back and forth seems onerous, but maybe it isn’t?
  • Needs to have an indoor space as backup for rain, or have a large amount of space such that a tent wouldn’t be weird in the event of rain. 
  • Someplace reasonably accessible from San Francisco for our planned ~125 guests. Ideally we won’t be asking them to stay overnight somewhere. We are big budget, but we want to be conscious of our many friends who are not. We’d be willing to shuttle people if we can find the right spot, but I also worry about “trapping” people if it’s more than 1.5 hours away. Once you get far enough away you don’t really have accessible rideshare at night. Financial accessibility is also why we are trying to avoid a destination wedding. 

Style:

  • Not classic ballroom/hotel - Ballroom feels very impersonal. This knocks out more than half of the venues in the area. 
  • Not vineyard - The ones I have seen don't feel like us, we are ocean and urban people. This knocks out another significant chunk. 
  • Not in a public-ish place - Some nice community center and park venues seem decently exposed to the public. As an example Gallery 308, aside from being a single space, seems like people are walking nearby (outside).
  • Not overly rustic - I’ve seen a barn or two that can pull off modern, but for the most part, no barns or log cabins. You can see that we are now running out of options. 
  • Not outdated/in need of renovation - I’ve heard that the General’s Residence falls into this category. It is not the only venue in need of a glow up.  
  • More interesting than impersonal. A lot of industrial or gallery spaces, for example Pier 27 or Terra, feel cavernous and/or impersonal. 
  • No Wedgewood. 

Some that seem like they might fit but that have been ruled out:

  • All of the museums. Either too many restrictions (Legion of Honor) or slightly awkwardly laid out (Asian Art Museum)
  • Exploratorium & Cal Academy. Amazing places, but we have both been to so many corporate parties at each that we can’t shake that association. 
  • City Hall. I really wanted this to work, but giving $7k for the required security to the SF sheriff as a WoC would be…oof, it would be a lot. 
  • Hibernia. It is a cool venue, but it is definitely not in the best area. 
  • The Conservatory at One Sansome and SF Design Galleria. Both in that cavernous category, though maybe I am misjudging from photos?
  • SF Mint. Almost has too many rooms? Would need to bring in a lot of rentals for it to not feel empty. On the fence with this one. 

Currently I feel like I maybe have left: 

  • Kohl Mansion
  • Cavallo Point - though I have heard it can get windy af
  • Montalvo
  • Filoli (a bit more than we want to spend on venue)
  • ??? {insert your ideas here}

I clearly need to compromise somewhere, and style seems like it would be easier to compensate for by dressing something up. Or maybe we pull out the big guns and just try to cover hotel block fees for our smaller budget friends who can’t. Or maybe we elope and get to be fancy af and then just throw a smaller reception-only party when we get back, but something about that idea makes me feel sad. I dunno, I’ve been staring at venues for days now and I wish it wasn’t this hard (and yes I realize this is mostly self-imposed). 

If there are any venues you think I should (re)consider let me know, and if you have read this far you are a saint. <3