Hate the hope that won’t go away

What do you do after a discard to mitigate that nagging hope that eats away at you while your loved one completely destroys you? I think this is the last one for me, not even by my choosing. I’m ready to move on but I cycle through all these feelings and I hate the hope that sits in the back of my head.

I also hate the constant worry that comes along with the thoughts of “that’s not the person I love.” because frankly I don’t know if it is or isn’t at this point. She says she’s stabilized, she’s medicated, she’s keeping a routine, she seems happy, she just blew up our life and moved away to do it.