No True Closure

See previous posts for my shit show. Posting here so often so I don’t reach out to her. I think the worst part of being discarded so quickly is getting no closure and the indifference on her part. Even now, she’s stable, moved home, and loving it. She told me I am “everything she ever wanted but she just doesn’t want it anymore.” Make it make sense. She made a decision about our 4 year relationship and I didn’t even get a word in about it, and she wonders why my brain is going in circles. She acts like it’s over forever then suggests maybe a few years down the road we’ll reconnect. A few years?? Absolutely not. It feels like she loves me but she doesn’t want me because I couldn’t do anything more for her without her having to do it herself. Ran home to her grandparents where she gets to spend her days doing whatever she wants, and they’ll do the heavy lifting for her. I feel used, especially after a year of hospitalizations, discards, and burying myself to keep her afloat. Got out of the hospital and dipped.

ETA: She doesn’t want to talk about the relationship but says she likes talking to me about normal stuff as long as we don’t disagree. Doesn’t reach out first. Wants me without wanting me. HOW DO YOU MAINTAIN NO CONTACT? I’m struggling and I really need to for my own sanity. I keep falling into the same questioning and confusion and I need to stop.