I will always miss my old brain so much

I was such a vivid person. i noticed so many different subtleties about life.

so effortlessly too. the morning air was so crisp

being able to take in the atmosphere of a city. all of the different sounds and buildings.

each street in my town had a particular vibe. i remember i thought of each town as having a different vibe from another

i had such clear memory. 7am felt different then 10am. 2pm had a vibe and 6pm had a totally different vibe. it was all so nature and effortless too

the feel of it being April vs October. the way i'd mentally think of dates and how the later parts of the months felt

i could visualize entire landscapes. i could create new places and imagine worlds in my head

my imagination isn't close to what it was. i try to visualize something and it's not as clear now.

it's like the stress of the modern works doesn't allow you to be mindful. having experience chronic panic attacks and derealization for 3 years has done permanent damage on me.

i've been working out for 3 years. and thankfully my panic attacks are no more. and i've recovered from anxiety

but this brain damage is still leftover