The one thing I realized about going through this breakup

I keep reading all these posts about people being heartbroken and so down and emotional that they're contemplating their lives. My biggest revelation to all of this? You were never ready for these relationships, and most likely, neither were they.

All of us have some sort of underlying issue we believed was taken care of when we waltzed into a relationship with this person. You put this person on a pedestal, made them your sole focus, turned them into an effigy, a deity, a god—someone who could save you from what was happening in your life or what you kept trying to push down and cap.

This mindset will always lead to disappointment, heartbreak, frustration, anger, blindsides, breakups, and emotional messes.

I was never confident. I was always trying to look for a way out, an escape from reality, always seeking immediate dopamine hits so I wouldn't have to acknowledge any messes I made, cleaned up, or were done to me. For example, I found myself relying on my partner to distract me from my own insecurities and issues, which only led to more problems when the relationship faced challenges.

You need to clean up that mess, urgently. The moment you can sit with yourself, forgive yourself, and realize how much value you hold inside is the moment you'll feel free in any environment you're placed in.

I felt this way before I got with my ex two years ago, but I was using constant dopamine rushes to make myself feel happier. I didn't realize how hurt I was from the messes I'd personally been through. Something totally unfair that I didn't realize was also a mistake was that my ex expected me to be this saving grace always. Even when the check engine light was on, all my tires were popped, and I was running on empty, I tried my hardest to satisfy her. It led to a very unhealthy lifestyle, both physically and mentally.

Take time for yourself. Don’t let anyone intrude on your healing journey. If they're worth it, they’ll understand and wait patiently. Take time to understand your worth and work on your own happiness. Learn to enjoy your own company, pursue your passions, and build a strong foundation of self-love. Only then can you truly share your life with someone else in a healthy, balanced way.

Remember, you're not alone in this journey. Many of us have been there, and it’s possible to come out stronger and more self-assured on the other side.