Describe where you live without actually saying where you live. Be creative, obscure and even absurd!

I’ll start. Apparently my son has told me it is the vaping capital of the UK. There’s some really really old stuff here that’s been dug up over the years when more houses have been built. We’re a city with no big church or a Bishop presiding and a nursery rhyme we all know was written here apparently. There a blue plaque on a house to confirm.