I am stupid. I am so stupid.

I wish I hadn't met you. I wish you hadn't motivated me to take this pointless exam again. I wish I hadn't wasted another year on this exam because I was delusional. I wish I had listened to my gut and intuition instead of giving it another shot. I wish I hadn't fallen for you. I wish I had prioritized myself. I wish I had stood up for myself. I wish I hadn't been so desperate for love. I wish I had been stronger.

In the end, it didn't even matter. I've taken this exam twice, and I don’t have it in me to hope for a "third time's the charm."

My head was messed up the entire year, and honestly, I couldn’t have made a worse decision than the one I did. I’m filled with regret, but what can I even do now? I don’t know what I’ll do next, but I can’t waste any more time on these exams. It’s better if I accept that I’m not cut out for them and focus on other things in life.

I wasted my time and emotions on someone who doesn’t even care if I’m alive or not. It was a complete waste of time, money, and energy. Definitely wasn’t worth it. I feel like breaking everything.