worst episode update

I have had CHS 3 times in the past last being in october of last year. I thought I could moderate it, but I never could. I had a really bad breakdown last night and went to smoke, one hit from the bong and I was running to the toilet to dry heave. Haven’t been able to sleep since, it’s now 9am. I’m self soothing by rocking back and forth, and have taken 4 hot baths so far. I am so upset at myself that I let it happen again. I also feel so regret seeing my partner having to go through this with me again. Trying to drink water, but just keep pissing myself when i dry heave, so I’m sitting on 5 towels and a puppy pads. So embarrassing. Anything recent tips discovered that I should try?