Why won't Jesus help me?

I feel my heart turning to satanism more and more each day. With every passing day, I've been hating God more and more for seemingly no reason and I don't know how to stop it. I've prayed to him for help with doubt and losing my love for him every single day but he hasn't answered me. I don't want to leave Christianity, but it feels like I have to with every increasing day. I've read my Bible and I find myself hating and dismissing every word against my own Jesus says but I can't no matter how hard I try believe anymore. What's wrong with me, why do I have to be such a mistake? It's gotten to a point where I think I'm possessed by a demon and I just want to be normal again. I think the Holy Spirit left me.