I need specific advice.

I am preoccupied thinking of my partner, good or bad. If we have a disagreement, I try to think of ways I'm right while at work all day so I'm not wrong and "expendable". If something good happens, I get addicted to that feeling of connection and totally abandon myself.

I need specific advice for dealing with the preoccupation.

When I'm working and I think of them and I leave my own emotional experience, what do I do? When I'm with my kids and I'm too preoccupied with thoughts of her, what do I do?

I need advice to make this preoccupation stop.