Please let us post, come onnnn...

Okay, I wasn't sure what tag to put here. Hiya, I'm Surge, newly annointed totally badass co-host of our system!! But uh- I have a small problem? Sorta.

I'll cut to the chase, we're really close with another system, and some of our alters are dating theirs- (long distance, and online) but one of our core pieces wouldn't let them like, get sexually intimate. And for a while that piece was a real wedge between our collectives. But, we figured out why thankfully, and HOPEFULLY we can finally let people in now... and explore this aspect of ourselves thats been shutdown repeatedly due to past experiences.

But my problem is that... we're still terrified? Like, I'm glad for my headmates that get to date and all.. and hell even I wanna find somebody for us one day.. or.. somebodies- but- it feels like an open wound exposed to the air. This core piece of ours is so badly traumatized from deeper relationships, and i can still feel the discomfort lingering.. it may just take time in all that. But- I dunno, now I'M unsure. Maybe it's just early and I'm in my head but.. honestly I've uhm.. "pleasured" the body like 3 times and I nearly went for fourth but i stopped myself. and i don't feel great about it... not because it wasn't enjoyable but i'm REAL fuckin lonely.

i just, dunno i guess? i'm glad we're makin progress but, sexuality is such a pain... not to mention our ever fluctuating hypersexuality. eesh... idk. it'd be nice to talk to another system in depth about this outside of the one we're close to. a fresh perspective sounds sobering.. i'm so tired lol.