Am i being an asshole?

It might sound weird for some people, but i hope you all will be kind and understanding. I grew up in a household where a lot of normal things were taboo. Even if i outgrew some of them, there are things that bother me. And i think one of them is a lot bigger because of my father. My father cheated on my mum. And even though he wasn't there for us, he was there for my mum. Seeing them falling apart ig triggered most of my insecurities and mental health ig.

I never got into any relationship because of the same thing. I couldn't trust anyone. But i ended up falling for my boyfriend. And since then, we have had a fine time. We will be dating for almost 1 year soon. But i think recently there are some things that are bothering me. Maybe because of my experiences with my dad, seeing him cheating with his friends/assistant/coworkers.

My partner studies in a subject that is mostly female dominated. And even thoigh some of the things are normal, i think i personally dont know if they are, but i pursue myself into thinking these are. So i need some help, some other povs to think, if i am the one who is stuck with "if's," and these are nothing to worry about. These are just trauma responses.

As he started his class, he obviously made female friends, which is normal, and i know that guys dont come for me. He is a very extroverted, kind person. You will see him sweating over people he isn't even friends with. So, he became friends with these two persons. One was sketchy, and after a long talk about her, he finally understood my point, which was me telling him to put on a boundary. He did that for sure. And now there is one girl, who comes over to his place (he lives with his family so not an issue) and she is with another man, she knows about me and i personally like her too. But at the back of the mind, i keep comparing myself with my parents, and that scares me. And i can't tell these to him, i feel like i am controlling or being overly possessive, and i would like to be anything but controlling his life. He pats, he likes patting anyone despite the gender and all, and he does that his yk classmates, and i do get jealous over it. And when i told him about it, i felt guilty, thinking i am being controlling or shit. But it feels like he is yk being or them being too close scares me off sometimes. He assures me a lot. And seeing some guys posting here saying they hate their girlfriends doing these adds up to my thought more.

Is it normal for guys to pat or be close in pictures when they have a girlfriend or worry about their female friends? And them coming over to your place when their families are home?

He is someone i trust a lot. And i really do love him. So, in order to not lose him, i am trying to know which are things that i should figure out. Dont tell me to breakup, i would rather fix it than walk away. It'aint worth it.
Once again, i do not distrust him. I am rather trying to understand if it's normal or I am overthinking a lot?

TIAAAAAA