I was a bad husband

Had the divorce decree dropped on me over the holidays. Was not expecting it, but looking back, I should have. Talked with my STBXW last night and apologized for the way things are ending and the many little missteps that led to this place. She was once a generous and caring person with a big heart. She has become a shadow of herself and seeing the guarded and callous attitude she has adopted breaks my heart. Some of it is my fault. I was so frustrated with some of her quirks and behaviors but tried not to get upset with or blame her. That only led to the frustration building into anger and snapping at her which resulted into saying some very hurtful things to her over the years. Those little cuts added up and she eventually stopped loving me. (The reality is I hated myself for feeling that way and resented her for the quirks leading up to it.)
On top of the divorce, she's had multiple other stressful issues (job, family deaths, etc.) pop up. The only thing I can do is nothing. She resents my presence in the house and wants me out ASAP. Attempts at helping are met with either lukewarm enthusiasm or a very cold shoulder depending on her present mood. She stated that she is in survival mode and doesn't have time or bandwidth for my feelings.
I don't expect anything from this beyond the opportunity to type it out. She's already seeing a therapist and I plan to when I can find one with availability.