not even doing it to lose weight anymore

idk if anyone will get what I mean but like, I've only started getting worse because the world seems to be. I've just kind of lost hope for humanity and myself. since 2025 started, after the garbage fire that was 2024 im just... I dont want to deal with another rerun of history repeating itself. starving gives me control, makes my brain too goddamn tired to care about my problems and the world's. knowing my body is slowly dying just feels like an escape from all this. also im just really damn lonely but everyone i know has done something to hurt me.