How did you accept that you were abused?

I'm at the point in my healing journey where I am struggling to accept that I was a victim of emotional abuse. I've heard others call the kind of abuse that I suffered as "death by a thousand paper cuts." I think that's extremely accurate - there were rarely huge moments or acts that I can point to as "proof" of my abuse. Rather, I was raised in a dysfunctional enmeshed family where the children were expected to meet the emotional needs of our parents. I am the youngest, so the abuse escalated and intensified after my older siblings left for college.

I'm 28 now, one year estranged from my family, and I feel this unbearable weight of guilt and shame on me most of the time. I'm learning how to process and feel emotions that I've repressed my whole life. I'm learning to spot and name the manipulation and abuse I've been subjected to. But I keep hitting a stumbling block of really truly accepting that I have suffered abuse and now have to deal with CPTSD, chronic pain, de-realization, and depression that the abuse caused. Yet I still find myself gaslighting myself over whether these things really happened at all and whether I can truly claim that I was abused when it seemed so minor. Obviously, it was not minor - or I wouldn't have all the terrible issues that I now have to deal with as an adult. But I truly did believe growing up that I had a healthy loving family, that my parents saw me as my own person and loved me for who I was - the cognitive dissonance of facing that these things are not true is so confusing and crushing. For those who are farther along in their journey, what helped? How did you heal?

I'm so awfully tired of caring this weight with me everywhere. I wish I could speak with my siblings to help process these feelings, but they are still in contact and enmeshed, so I simply cannot re-open that avenue.