I’m angry at how society automatically sides with parents and blames us kids in NC situations.

Went NC with enabler mom 6 months ago, shortly after enabler dad passed away. Both parents were covertly abusive, maintaining the happy family façade at the expense of me being horribly abused by n-grandmother.

Many of my extended family and friends witnessed the abuse and maintained bullshit justifications like “you should be grateful they only beat you because they love you”, “you are successful now so they must have raised you correctly”, and “your mom literally cannot take care of herself so you have to be the bigger person”.

I just don’t understand how these flying monkeys justify the things they are saying. It really fucks with my perception of reality and for a long time impeded my ability to trust people. It really sucked going through life being gay and neurodivergent thinking I didn’t have anyone in my corner.

In order for me to feel save and begin to heal I had to move to another continent. In the intervening years I had to learn a whole different language, complete a whole ass postgrad degree on scholarship, undergo extensive therapy, got a successful career, a mortgage, a happy marriage and three wonderful pet birds.

None of that matters to these people because “your mom can’t take care of herself so you must prioritise her.”

It’s like I am not even a human being with my own wants and needs. I only exist to serve my parents’ needs. My accomplishments in life don’t figure outside of my family’s approval. How dare these so-called adults in my life demand such sacrifices with straight faces? Seriously fuck off >:(