Anyone else have specifically clinical depression?

I’ve had depression since I was in my teens. I’m now 24 yrs old. Depression for me was diagnosed as clinical depression.

For those who don’t know clinical depression is also known as major depressive disorder or major depression. It’s a more severe form of depression that give many more symptoms besides chronic sadness.

I feel it’s starting to get bad again. For me it’s triggered by having a good day. I’ll have a good day and then when I get home or when I wake up the next morning I feel really low and hopeless. I think it’s because I’m chronically ill with many conditions and I feel I don’t deserve happiness for some reason. I’m a nice, kind person so I don’t understand that fully.

Anyone else get this? Feel like you need to be punished or like you’re never enough so when you have a good day you have depressed episodes afterwards?

It’s kicking in today big time… I’m physically and mentally exhausted