Rough day

I’m currently in a bad fibro flare due to constantly shifting weather and stress. My doctor retired, his replacement keeps rescheduling my appointments, and I’m losing my insurance at the end of this month. I’m struggling to do a job I thought was going to be manageable. I’m on a support cane, my legs keeps giving out, and I’m in so much pain I’m fighting tears pretty much all day. By the end of the day at my job, I’m barely standing, doing things backwards, and have lost almost all coordination. I can’t afford to stop working to apply for disability. My fiancé is trying so hard to get a better paying job, no luck. I want to eat better but when we do, our grocery bill doubles and we can’t afford it right now. It’s going to snow tomorrow and my pain level always increases so tomorrow might be even worse than today. I’ve already called off once this week and I can’t do it again, the bank where I work is severely understaffed and I’m literally the only person in my job family there this week. Which means I’ll be handling the teller line alone for large parts of the day, and I’m dreading it so badly. Also was invited to a get together tomorrow night and will have to say no because I know I’ll be too exhausted. I’m so tired of my body, so tired of the medical system, so tired of pain running my life. And now I get to start over convincing a new doctor that my symptoms are real. I’m so tired and I feel so worn down and hopeless. I hate this disease and that no one cares enough to research it. I hate being treated like a hypochondriac. I hate people implying I’m faking or telling me to “try getting more sleep” or “try drinking water.” I just can’t see a light at the end of the tunnel right now.