Struggling to Restart: My Fitness and Mental Health Journey

Back in late 2019, I weighed around 120 kg when I first joined the gym and started my fitness journey. Over the next 1.5 years, I lost about 28 kg, bringing my weight down to 92 kg while building a good amount of muscle and strength. I felt like a completely different person—confident, strong, and mentally healthy.

But after the second lockdown, everything changed. I lost my grandfather, which was a huge shock for my family. After some time, I tried getting back to the gym at around 110 kg, but nothing seemed to work. I changed my diet, adjusted my workout routine, and did everything I could, but no matter what I tried, I couldn’t lose fat. My mental health started declining as well.

Then, life took another turn when someone entered my life, and things only got worse. Both my physical and mental health deteriorated, and I stopped working out or doing any kind of physical activity. During this period, I developed a habit of overeating and eating anything without thinking.

Now, I really want to start again. I feel like I should work out, eat healthy, and be more active—but I just can’t seem to do it. It all feels so overwhelming, even just getting up. And it’s seriously affecting both my physical and mental well-being.

I don’t know exactly what I’m looking for here, but I know that motivation and discipline aren’t the answer—because the last time I relied on them, I got overwhelmed and ended up quitting.

Right now, I weigh 114.5 kg at a height of 5’9”, and I’ve gained an additional 10 kg since last July.

I need help.