[Discussion] 18 and Lost in Life: How Do I Overcome Bad Habits and Get Back on Track?

let me break down my timetable. My daily routine is messed up. I wake up at 5 AM, go to the toilet, and then open my laptop or mobile to watch reels or porn. My family members think I am studying. After that, I eat soybeans or carrots with black pepper, and I eat a lot. My stomach is always empty—I think it's because of masturbation.

From 8 AM to 12 PM, I go to my locality and watch YouTube, reels, or porn there too. I am addicted to masturbation. I don’t bathe daily or cut my nails. Sometimes, I plug in my earphones, walk around, listen to music, and pretend I am in some kind of edit or something.

Then I come home at 12 PM, eat food, and by 1 PM, I start watching YouTube and reels again from 1 to 5 PM. I don’t care about how I look, and I don’t cut my beard or nails. I have no hygiene. I don’t have any self-confidence or anything like that. I always procrastinate on my studies. My exams are only a few months away, and I haven’t studied at all.

I look tired and weak. Everything is gone; my days are passing like seconds. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to die like this. I’m an 18-year-old boy, and I’ve been in this mess for 2 or 3 years. I need to change myself, bro. My life feels like shit. I am unmotivated and lazy, and everyone around me is studying while I do nothing.

I’m also fat, but I want to change this shitty life. I want to study for 12 to 16 hours a day. My curiosity has died. I used to be a very bright student in 10th and 11th grade, but I don’t know what happened.

I don’t like my life. Back then, it was pretty good. I don’t have any friends now. I lost my friends—they were so-called friends anyway. I don’t have any real friends, and I think I am very single. I feel like I need a girlfriend, but I know this is not the time for that.

Every day, I tell myself that I will study hard, but I don’t study at all. I always procrastinate. My energy is also bad. What do I do?

I sleep at 8 or 9 PM after watching reels. How can I improve?

I have more problems, like a lack of self-confidence. I can’t talk to strangers. I have a childish behavior. Everybody thinks I am weak and still a child. I don’t use my brain at all, but I believe in God. I daydream a lot. I think self-improvement only happens in movies or anime.

I slap myself in the mirror and tell myself to be better, but I don’t know what to do. My most important goal is to crack an exam that I failed before.

I also believe I don’t have any opinions of my own—I always rely on what others think of me. I am confused.

I don’t know what I want to become in life. My family wants me to become a doctor, so I follow that. But I also like nanotechnology in medicine. Sometimes, I think I want to do a PhD, study abroad, or explore other opportunities, but I don’t know how to figure it all out.

I have insecurities. I can’t talk to girls. I am too shy. I was bullied by others and feel weak. I hide behind everything and have a lot of fear. My voice is always drowned out by others.

I also daydream that I have some power to change the world. I live in a fantasy world.

I have so many problems, and I am broke too. I don’t have much money, but I need to become something big in life. Please help me with these problems.