I lost my dad on Friday

My dad passed away on Friday. I miss him a lot. I don’t really know what to think, feel or act. I don’t know how to describe it. It’s confusing. He was an alcoholic with some mental health problems and his liver gave up.

I’m 21 years old and he had been an alcoholic for a number of years before he passed so it really felt like I lost my dad then instead of Friday. One of the causes of my dad’s mental health was PTSD from his parents passing when he was in his 30s but he didn’t develop it until about 5 years ago I think. I’m worried I’m going to develop the same problem. I’m currently grieving but it doesn’t feel as intense as I thought it would. I can look at pictures and listen to voicemails from him without getting upset.

I also don’t know what to do with my future. I had been planning on moving out in the next few months but due to my sister moving out a couple months ago, my mum would now be in the house on her own. She’d have gone from a household of 4 to being on her own within the space of a year. I know my dad would have wanted me to still move out and live my life and my mum has said the same but I feel guilty for even thinking of leaving her.

I’m aware this post is pretty all over the place but I’m just typing my thoughts out as they come into my head. If anyone’s been through anything similar to this, first of all, I’m sorry that you have. Secondly, if you have any tips on how to get on with life. Please let me know.

My dad passed away on Friday. I miss him a lot. I don’t really know what to think, feel or act. I don’t know how to describe it. It’s confusing. He was an alcoholic with some mental health problems and his liver gave up.

I’m 21 years old and he had been an alcoholic for a number of years before he passed so it really felt like I lost my dad then instead of Friday. One of the causes of my dad’s mental health was PTSD from his parents passing when he was in his 30s but he didn’t develop it until about 5 years ago I think. I’m worried I’m going to develop the same problem. I’m currently grieving but it doesn’t feel as intense as I thought it would. I can look at pictures and listen to voicemails from him without getting upset.

I also don’t know what to do with my future. I had been planning on moving out in the next few months but due to my sister moving out a couple months ago, my mum would now be in the house on her own. She’d have gone from a household of 4 to being on her own within the space of a year. I know my dad would have wanted me to still move out and live my life and my mum has said the same but I feel guilty for even thinking of leaving her.

I’m aware this post is pretty all over the place but I’m just typing my thoughts out as they come into my head. If anyone’s been through anything similar to this, first of all, I’m sorry that you have. Secondly, if you have any tips on how to get on with life. Please let me know.