Waiting for a loved one to die…

My Grammy has always been my favorite person in the whole entire world. She’s the kind of person who lights up a room. She’s changed people’s lives. She’s wise. She loves unconditionally. She’s so strong. She’s one of my best friends. And on Saturday she has a Widow maker heart attack. She had it for 4 hours before going into surgery. The doctors said she shouldn’t be alive, and everybody is just amazed that she’s still here. But because her heart is so severely damaged, she is going to die. My whole family is beyond devastated, just beside themselves. It’s so exhausting waiting for her to die. We all know it’s coming. But when? We don’t know. She gets to go home today and have in home hospice care. But it’s between her and god now when her heart stops. The doctors estimated a couple days- a couple weeks left. All I gotta say is my chest hurts. I have a constant pressure from anxiety, and I’m exhausted. It’s awful waking up every day wondering if today’s her last day. I just hope she makes it through Christmas. This is awful. My heart hurts so bad.