Advice needed

Not a native speaker + on my phone, so sorry in advance

I had a Situation last Saturday. I'm quite a fresh rider, I am taking consistent lessons since September but I always liked riding and did ao throughout my life when I had the chance, only not systematically.

I've decided to finally learn riding properly so, here I am. I went through four horses at my barn - all pretty much tame, except for one Circassian that threw me off (more of that being me struggling to balance myself after a small buck lol). I hit my head pretty hard and the instructor offered me a slow ride, just one circle, so the trauma doesn't settle in but I refused, feeling a bit dizzy (went to the doctor right after, no concussion, all good). I feel that this might be important to the story.

Last two times I'm given a HUGE draft. I am giddy with happiness bc I adore draft horses. This one is very chill as well, though he's quite energetic. And he's a PAIN to control. I know that this is on me as well, it's my legs and the way I hold reins, but I struggle to turn him most of the time when we're trotting or galloping.

So the issue at hand is that I was so frustrated and so disoriented by a horse that does whatever HE wants, not I want him to do (cutting corners, he also likes to fall out of line closer to the center of the arena, idk if I can describe it better, I'm not a native speaker). He loves following other horses, and sometimes it's also not desired (our instructor likes to tell us to free roam, do elements by ourselves and correct our mistakes in the process). He also loves to run while trotting - just gets into full gallop and I mostly manage to calm him down during that.

So I got so thrown off by this that I had a panic attack. Like a full blown attack I hadn't have in years - I was crying, refusing to listen to my instructor's commands being so terrified I couldn't move. She took over, held the horse by his reins and comforted me while I was trying to collect myself, and all was good - I just walked until the end of the lesson and felt way better after that. I'm not afraid of horses. I am careful around them, bc they are huge and can hurt me easily if spooked, but there's no fear - I feel that's also important to mention.

The problem is, I am now afraid of this happening again. One of my friends who is an experienced rider herself told me that this is completely normal, just a regular adrenaline burst and I'll be much more comfortable with experience. That I agree with. But I just need some form of advice on how to address that in the future or what can I do to prevent such bursts to ever happening. I already feel uneasy about next lesson 🫠

This turned longer than expected, ty for everyone who read it!