Iam helpless

Iam 15M, in 2023 my dad left this world and vo abhi better place mai hai. Aisa lagta hai ki pichle 3 saalo mai meri life puri palat gayi, only me my mom and my sister are left. Mere papa ke side family left no relations with us now. 3 saal pehle jin bhaiyo ke sath cricket aur wwe khelta tha aaj woh hi alag hogye. In 2022 we came to know about the mental problem of papa due to blood clot or something. I didnt know then, but life me ab kuch nhi rha. Man krta hai ki chhat se kudu or papa pas jau chahe fir nark me jalu. Mai pagal hogya hu ab koi nhi hai, aaj mai or meri mma shadi pe gye the and jis raste se gye wha mai pheli bar gya bina papa ke, pehle papa sath roz ghumna. And papa end times me mental challenge hogye the jisse unhe hospital me dala tha. Wha pe hi unhone pran tyag diye, agr humne unhe na bheja hota to woh hmare sath hote. Sab meri glti h, maine unko end time me bhot glt bola tha pta nahi kyu mann krta hai ek chaku apne gale me daldu. Mere papa ne mujhe pta nhi kya kya dilaya, kitna khele but fir maine unhe kya diya? Mai ek certified chu*iya hu.