Book 3 of 2025: family drama, messy relatives, and parents

The Lying Life of Adults by Elena Ferrante

The biggest and hardest truth we have to learn as we grow up is that our parents are not infallible angels who are never wrong - more often than not they are messy and wrong. This coming-of-age story following Giovanna as she comes to this realization.

Her perception of herself and her family is shaken when her father compares her to his estranged sister, Vittoria. This sparks a domino effect that destroys her perception of her parents and their marriage bringing her face to face with the chaotic, messy lying lives of adults.

The novel excels in its character work, which is a hallmark of Elena Ferrante’s writing. I have read her My Brilliant Friend before and similar to it, the characters are complex and contradictory, existing in tension with their own beliefs and actions.

Vittoria drives much of the plot though her presence becomes less prominent toward the end. Giovanna, like every character, is a deeply flawed and problematic character. You never know who is lying, who is being truthful. She makes terrible choices, hurts those around her, but also tries to improve herself. Her journey is one of grappling with the shattering of her childhood ideals and the difficult process of reconciling her parents’ contradictions with the morals they taught her.

While the book does contain sexual content, it doesn’t detract from the story. The graphic scenes are intentionally awkward, messy, and repulsive, serving a purpose.

This is a sad, emotionally charged book that evokes empathy and frustration. At times, Giovanna’s decisions may leave you seething, yet her journey remains relatable - she is simply a teenager learning to navigate her fractured world and loss of sense of self.

The novel also explores the theme of class differences, showing how social, economic, and intellectual status shape how others perceive and treat us. It’s a poignant commentary on the impact of those societal divides.

It is a compelling novel that is an intricate exploration of self-discovery, family dynamics, and the painful truths that accompany growing up.

Elena Ferrante is often named as one of the authors who will be forever memorable and I can see why. This book is easy to read, the writing simple and elegant, it is a page turner and evocative.