I'm a loser who failed as a son

I fucked my drop year didn't study for last 3 months And now the pressure guilt and anxiety can't let me study all I can do is now cry cause I'm a worthless piece of shit , when I had time i didn't used it properly now it's only 4 days left for jee and i haven't completed anything, can't sleep at night and don't want to see the disappointment in my parents face when they see the result I can't and just don't want to live this kind of life I want to be free ,i will try hard for 2nd attempt but I don't have any self confidence and whatever is left will be all gone after result the whole cycle of last year will repeat and I have to face all ,I just wish now that something happen and when i will go to sleep I don't wakeup the next day I'm now losing all hope .I had all the resources to crack jee and I was also capable of doing this but procrastination I know you all will say don't give up try hard But it's not easy and I'm done for this 3 years of my life went to drain

I my mom and I suffered through a lot after last year result and she trusted me and backed me , my father who was against drop , i fought with him and toop a drop year . And know everything back fired I just can't face them I don't want to give disappointment and pain .

Ab mein aur kuch din ka mehmaan hun

Carying a face smile on the face as if everything is okay & I'm fine I can't do this anymore.

My life from the day I was born up to class 10 were the most beautiful part of my life and I want to relive this once more, i didn't appreciate at that time .

In the end , in this world only result matters no one will appreciate your efforts.

I'm just a another looser who thought that he can go to iit and will do his best in drop year.