I’m new here & here’s why

** I am currently 33 weeks pregnant **

My husband and I decided that what is best for me and us is that we do not want any visitors for the first two weeks of the baby’s life; including and especially in the hospital. There are many reasons why I’ve come to that decision: I am a FTM, I intend to follow the 5-5-5 model of recovery, I intend to breastfeed, and in all honesty, I personally feel like the time in the hospital I will be a patient and I will literally be bleeding and in pain and I don’t want to have to host people in that condition.

When we told my family that we would not have visitors for two weeks, their response was “Okay, this time is all about you and we support you. We will be excited to meet her whenever you are ready.” Amazing. As it should be.

But last night we sat my husband’s mother down and told her that we would not be having visitors for two weeks and she had an absolute hissy fit in the restaurant. She broke down in tears. TEARS. She accused me of trying to shut them all out. Accused us of not wanting the baby to be a part of their family. Told me that we are destroying another one of her life milestones of getting to meet her first grandchild in the hospital (we also eloped last year and she still hold resentment towards me for taking that away from her eyeroll)

I lost my cool but I was able to keep it together pretty well. My husband was completely thrown off guard because he thought his mom would be more understanding. If I’m being honest, I was surprised but also not surprised at the same time. These people do not know me. They have never made an effort to get to know me. They don’t know but will soon find out that my daughter is not a toy or a prize for them and I am not simply the carrier of their grandchild. I am a real person with real feelings who will really be going through one of the hardest things I’ve ever been through. Not to mention, I’m also a mean ass bitch and if you start putting expectations and demands on me and my baby, I will make sure you never fucking see her… ever.

I get so riled up because this exact thing happened to my mother with her MIL (my grandma). To the point that even 27 years later my grandma STILL guilt trips my mom for moving us out of the state and away from her because of what we “stole from her”. The life she always envisioned. My mom has told me that her and my dad would’ve gotten divorced because of her if they didn’t move away when they did. And now I see this exact scenario playing out in my life.

It breaks my heart because I want my husband to be able to have a good relationship with his family and seeing them hurt him in this way angers me more than anything in the world. I would give, take, and do anything for my baby and my husband. These people do not know who they are messing with.

ETA I am 33w3d pregnant with my first child