Talk about the future with my (f25) LDR boyfriend (m22) took a bad turn

Hey all. BF and I have been friends for the past 3 years online, we officially met and started dating in Jan. He flew down a second time in May until Sept to spend with me, and is coming again in Dec for a month. I have really bad anxiety issues and abandonment issues due to past breakups, so I over stress and need detailed plans for everything, not just relationship wise but in general. In the beginning, ofc we made lots of lovey dovey plans and comments, he brought up first (before we even dated) that we should get married etc. After meeting me for that first 2 weeks in Jan he told his parents he wants to marry me, and move down to my country. (He's UK I'm ZA) our plan was for him to move here to ZA (He's finally year uni and I already have a decent job here) and after a few years, we both move to UK together after being married for a bit.

Now months later, I kept stressing about things like our future and he basically told me that his priorities might change but he won't make any decisions without considering our relationship, and that our future isn't guaranteed, and we should be happy with what we have now and if it doesn't work out next year when he planned to move down, we can be happy with what we had and we will come out better people, but that he wants us to work out and I must trust him and not give up.

To me that felt like he was giving up. This convo happened almost 2 weeks ago and I still haven't been able to forget it, I keep going through weird emotions. Where I mentally prepare myself for December to be the end, where I just want to ghost him or avoid him, or wanting to slowly emotionally detach myself. I'm at a loss because I'm so conflicted on what to do/feel. I love him so much, I loved him as my friend, I spent so much time with him during our friendship and relationship (we are both gamers) that I don't know what I'd do with myself if we broke up. He's been part of my daily routine for years....