I'm ready, I promise

I'm in class 11. I did not waste class 11 completely, I've done 80% of the things right. I have attended lectures for all chapters, studied all of them and have revised most chapters atleast once. I have given most of the tests averaging around 650, solved coaching module for all physics chapters atleast twice (1-2 chapters bache hai jo abhi kuch din pehle hua hai). For chemistry, I've solved modules for almost all chapters once. For biology, I didn't practice much because honestly it feels like a waste of time.

But all throughout the year, I never gave my best. I am not consistent with my studies, I was not serious serious throughout the year, I have spent days on stretch not studying. I do study rigorously before tests and get decent marks. But I feel even after having such bad studying habits, I haven't wrecked 11th, I might have a lot of untapped potential (sorry for the narcissism there) and honestly it's just 1 and half years before NEET '26.

The last time I was dedicated towards something was probably in class 6 and today when I sit and replay the last few years, I realise I never gave my best. I have always half assed everything in my life.

I never felt the need to push myself because the grades that my parents wanted could be achieved by putting in, for a lack of a better word, mid effort. No one challenged me, so, I never felt the need to put in my max effort.

But I want to change myself and see what happens when I put in max effort. It's just 1.5 years and 1.5 years of hard work is so worth it if it could give me a huge headstart in life.

Also, I'm sure I could get a really good GMC or even land an AIIMS if I max out on my potential. My coaching teachers right now are certain that I will get in a GMC, but honestly that's not why I entered this race, to get any GMC, I wanted a really good college all along. Just that I never realised that half assing wouldn't get me a good college. How dumb can I be?

I have decided to not measure my progress with my test marks from now on (I'm not going to use them as a primary form of judgement, they'll of course still matter a lot to me) and instead judge the progress I'm making with the time I spend studying, the number of questions I solve, the number of days I spent consistently studying, etc.

I'll be posting my progress report daily, I have done the progress report thing in the past but never had the courage to link it to my main account and that is part of the reason I never stuck with it.

I'm so ready to give something everything I have! 🧿