I can’t stop thinking about another man.

I (38F) have been married to my husband (38M) for twelve years now. We have a wonderful child together. We’ve recently become friends with a couple (Ben and Maxine) who’s son is on our son’s hockey team. We’ve hung out a few times.

Ben is hard not to like. Successful, extraverted, devastatingly handsome. I couldn’t deny my attraction to him the moment I met him. The problem is what turned out to be an innocent crush has become a full blown obsession. I am constantly thinking about him and when the next time I’ll see him is. I also feel like there might be a mutual attraction there, as I’ve noticed him looking my way a few times and there have been some flirty remarks made. We have never had any contact with each other outside of group settings or through text/phone/social media however.

I know I need to stop this now before it heads to dangerous territory. I love my husband, but we’ve had a lot of downs recently. We’ve had nasty fights about how he does not want any more children and about his mother’s lack of boundaries. We are trying to work through these issues but I think I’m coping mostly through escapism. Any and all advice on how to navigate this would be extremely helpful.