3 month old up every hour

looking for anyone who may have been through something similar and has some tips or just commiserations. Please don’t suggest cosleeping as I don’t feel comfortable or safe doing it, I will not be cosleeping for any reason.

My baby around 2 months old was sleeping excellent long naps (1-2 hours) and at night, about a 5-6 hour stretch and then up quite a bit until morning. But the one long stretch and long day naps made things manageable.

A week before he hit 3 months everything went downhill. He will only nap about 30 mins, even contact naps, we can only get a long nap if we walk for hours with him in the carrier. At night he is waking up almost every hour, sometimes we get a 2 hour but also could be as often as 40 mins. He is not hungry for most wake ups, for most wake ups he needs to be picked up and rocked/shushed until he falls back asleep, sometimes that doesn’t work so I end up comfort nursing which I know is bad practice at this stage. He sleeps in a mini crib in our room in a sleep sack, never liked being swaddled. I try to comfort him without picking him up but he just escalates. He doesn’t take a pacifier. He falls asleep awake, alone in his crib no problem but then can’t seem to soothe himself or relax at all during all these wake ups.

We have blackout blinds and a noise machine. Wake windows are about 90 mins sometimes slightly longer, we watch for sleepy cues, and before bed we stretch the wake window to about 110-120 mins. He goes to sleep around 8-9pm, we have tried an earlier bed time and he won’t go down before then. He is up for the day around 7-8am. He is EBF and eats well in the day following an eat/play/sleep.

I don’t know what more we can do to help him and us get some sleep. I know he’s too young g to do any kind of crying sleep training and would feel too bad to do it at this age anyways. I see everyone posting about their 3 month olds sleeping long stretches or even overnight and I’m so confused why we’re dealing with this.