wait so i should never have existed?

ugh i still keep going back to this.

no matter how much i try, no matter how much i think about it. i litterally cannot come to any conclusion other than "i" should simply have just never been created at all.

Im an alter, in a DID system, that system only exists because i was traumatized as a child.. horrible stuff happened to me, things that should not happen to anyone ever.

so then, ideally that should never have happened, but wait. that means i should never have happened?

mm this feels so fucking shit.i hate this so much, fck DID so hard)

the fact that if we ever did fucking sort out the worlds problems and shit. i would have never actually be here, actually pisses me off. its just sooo unfair.. fuck DID

sigh

i generally don't mean that i shouldn't be here like right now, everyone should be able to just exist no matter what and stuff, thats like basic and kinda obvious, i just mean in sense of like. no one would go 'ah yes lets traumatize this child a bunch so that some alters can have a chance to exist and experience things' yknow? that obviously wouldn't be right, uugh fuck DID so hard